Co-Parenting A Child With Intense Emotions

Co-parenting children with intense emotions is difficult however we can help both parents be equally involved in their child’s life with sharing strategies. It is possible to co-parent in a way that will establish trust, safety and stability in your child’s life. Co-parenting can be a challenge of its own, and when your child is experiencing intense emotions it is especially important you are doing what you can to provide your child with stability and emotional support.

Do:
•Set boundaries. Every family member should know what type of behavior is and is not appropriate for their unique family system.
•Have a routine/schedule and stick to it. Provide stability for your child so they are not left guessing their schedule each week.
•Model Conflict resolution. Your child will learn through example how to cope with conflict in relationships and handle their own emotions by viewing how their parents handle difficult situations. If done well, children can learn the importance of cooperating with others even in difficult situations.
•Put your child first. You may have anger or resentment for your child’s other parent, but it is important to remember this is not your child’s problem to deal with.
•If needed, keep communication among co-parents solely about your child.

Don’t:
•Ask your children to take sides. They should not feel torn to choose one parent they prefer over another.
•Vent to your children about their other parent. This puts the child in the middle of both their parents.
•Shame your child for struggling to manage their emotions. Instead try to understand where their intense emotions are coming from.

Self-Care for Parents: (To be the best parent you can be, it is crucial you take care of yourself).
•Use outside help because parental fatigue is normal
•Remind yourself that you did not cause your teen’s problems
•Don’t feel guilty when other people judge you. They may not understand what it is like to have a child with intense emotions
•Practice mindfulness before entering difficult conversations
•Focus on your passions/pleasures and your identity outside of being a parent.